


Tonight Was A Disaster

by zauberer_sirin



Category: Hachimitsu to Clover | Honey and Clover
Genre: F/M, Future Fic, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-10
Updated: 2010-02-10
Packaged: 2017-10-07 03:51:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zauberer_sirin/pseuds/zauberer_sirin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He doesn't mind waiting. That should make him feel less of a man but it doesn't. Written January 2010.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tonight Was A Disaster

Things are going... _well_. Nomiya notes this with a tone in his inside-the-head voice that resembles contentment. It depends on how you would define "well", precisely. As well as going out with a girl who is in love with another guy can go, he notes with cynysm. His less cynic self adds: well, she is kind of in love with you too, old voice. Nomiya likes that voice better. He is not saying this just because, he believes in the scientific method and the signs are there: Ayumi's hand trembled yesterday when she handed him his coat, and her voice always sounds weird on the phone lately - _weird_ good, _weird_ as you would want it to be – and sometimes he catches her looking at him in a very particular way and sometimes he doesn't catch her but he knows she is looking at him in that particular way, he can just feel it.

Plus they've been kissing. A lot. That's pretty good proof of her interest, Nomiya thinks. He thinks about it and he can't help a certain amount of smugness. They've been kissing goodnight a lot (him leaning against the door odf his car and tugging at Ayumi's coat to pull her in, against him so she had to flatten her hands against his chest as they kissed); they've been kissing in parks (normally his off-days, in a lazy Sunday noon-light and once when it rained and Ayumi thought it would be very romantic and she just kissed him, but it was kind of silly and slippery instead and they laughed about it and yes, it ended being quite romantic); they've been kissing looking out of windows and looking out at the sea, in restaurants (Nomiya had leaned across the table, cheekily) and inside his car (he remembers one particular time last week, Ayumi had had cake for dessert and she tasted of strawberry and Nomiya had enjoyed the softness at the back at her neck when he grabbed her and said "you taste of strawberry" against her mouth); they've even kissed in the cinema, when he had taken Ayumi to a Naruse festival at some college's cineclub and they had started making out as the black-and-white of the screen grazed their features and Nomiya had felt like a teenager in all the good ways, and the bad ones too).

So in that sense – in the sense that there has been a lot of kissing lately – he is sure that things are going well.

Like tonight. Tonight she is cooking – and Nomiya is _helping_ because they are comfortable enough with each other already that he can tell her that her cooking is not exactly perfect.

`You should have said something sooner!´ Ayumi complains while she lets Nomiya measure the ingredients of the sauce.

He throws his head back and laughs; he enjoys this far too much, but everybody would admit she looks very cute, flustered, in her cooking attire, beads of sweat on her forehead.

`I couldn't,´ he reasons. `I was just happy to be eating anything you'd make even if it was completely inedible. That's what guys do when they like a girl.´

It still makes her blush. He still likes it. They way she is embarrassed to talk openly about anything slightly related to "feelings" or "their relationship". Nomiya has tried, probed, but she just shuts herself in. It's not ideal – he has yet to hear her say that she likes him, with all those words – but Nomiya is happy to let all the kissing and the blushing and the hand-brushing and bumping into each other when they walk and all the hugging-as-hello and the kisses on the cheek do the talking for her.  
  
–  


They were going to eat pork in breadcrumbs but inevitably Ayumi burnt the pork and not even Nomiya's exquisite sauce (if he may say so himself) can save the meal from the debacle.

Ayumi spends a long time apologizing and at first it's funny but then Nomiya tires of it and grabs her wrist (he feels his palm progressively sweaty and hot) and drags her back to the kitchen and says, `What about some popcorn?´

He likes her house – he's been there enough times to establish this _liking_, but not enough times that the novelty of being there has already worn off – because everything screams of her, even the kitchen roll with the watercoloured blue clouds and the soft touch. She is everywhere he turns, in the distribution of the cupboards and the non-sugar peach-flavoured yogurt in the fridge.

They make popcorn.

She smiles awkwardly as she sets the timer in the microwave. Nomiya puts his hand above her hip as the buzzing sound of microwaves and corn grains exploding start to fill the room. He kisses her – no particular reason, just the urge, just the simple happiness of being able to kiss her if he wants to, which is new, which will never stop being exhilarating, he thinks, and he has very few certainties in his life (Nomiya is a skeptic man, knows very well that everything changes all the time, has learned to accept that) but he thinks the small joy of kissing Ayumi is something that's not going to stop. He rests one hand on the kitchen counter while the other waits patiently over her belt, thumb pressed to the fabric of her t-shirt (her cooking clothes, older, more worn out, softer and, inevitably and to Nomiya's delight, with a strong smell of her and years of her).

Something happens. Popcorn takes an average of three and a half minutes on Ayumi's microwave and barely past the first minute of it Ayumi tiptoes on one feet and perches herself against the counter and kisses Nomiya back. There's something of a hurry in her kiss and Nomiya is surprised, this is new. He learns a million new things about her each day and he has stopped counting but this is new. She kisses him rushed, hard and fast, with the energy of a gaping fish. Clumsy, breathing him in. Nomiya likes the way she puts her arm around his waist and grabs the back of his shirt but when she tries to pull him against her and he ends up cornering her, body pressed against hers, Nomiya has to make an effort in being a gentleman (his body against _her body_) and with both hands on Ayumi's hips, he pulls away, breaking the kiss.

`Slow down,´ he says.

`What?´

She looks confused, still her weight on one foot and her elbow to the counter, trying to make herself taller to reach him. Her mouth half-open and her lips curled in the confusion, because he pulled back and left her there, kissing the air. And what he means by "slow down" he doesn't know, he is not sure he is talking to her or himself, or his body and did she notice at all?

The microwave ring bells and suddenly there's a smell of popcorn filling everything and they busy themselves pouring them into red plastic bowls and Nomiya doesn't know what to do with himself.  
  
-  


They watch a supernatural drama on the tv. They take turns at guessing the identity of the murderer and he makes fun of her because she thinks the ghost did it and she is missing the point of the drama, the good guys unravelling the very earthly nature of the crime, proving the supernatural element to be a trick. Ayumi seems disappointed at this, she rests her chin on her knee and pouts.

She makes him a coffee and a tea for herself and they watch the sports news with feigned interest, sitting by each other's side on the carpet, Nomiya cross-legged and trying to keep his knee out of Ayumi's personal space, she with the cup of tea on her knees, letting it warm her hands.

Nomiya glances at his watch.

`Well, I better get going,´ he says standing up. He has a meeting – a brain-storming one, at that, though he is not really interested in the slang of it, just the headache it's going to cause him – for a new project tomorrow. Not too early, thank the heavens, but early enough he can use it as a excuse.

But Ayumi grabs his hand and stops the motion he is making to reach his jacket on the couch's arm.

She looks up at him.

She says: `You could stay, you know.´

Nomiya's eyes widen.  
  
–  
  
Nomiya likes Ayumi's house because everything looks like her, smells like her, feels like her.

Specially her room, with the couple of stuffed animals on the pillow and the hand-painted yellow curtains and the second-hand art books left half-read on the desk and the prints of Rothko and Monet peacefully resting side by side on the wall. The mirror and the make-up box. A red t-shirt folded on the back of a chair. Nomiya falls in love with it all. With the perfect corners of the blanket in a perfectly done bed.

There are many ways in which Ayumi makes him feel like he is fifteen (not always a good thing, but it's worth it) but maybe this is a bit too much, making out with a girl on a girl's bed. That's just pushing it, the way he doesn't know what to do with his hands, what he is allowed to do, the speed of it, the shape of it, what might make her uncomfortable or scare her away.

She is lying on her back, over the covers – he becomes fascinated by the green with flowery orange design of it-, and Nomiya is by her side, half-turned on his side, holding her head with one hand while he kisses her, deep and slow, kissing her thoroughly, extracting little sounds from the back of her throat; sounds of contentment, of pleasant surprise, sounds of falling. _So this is going to happen_, Nomiya thinks and wonders how the hell he got here, he had no agenda tonight, had come for dinner with no plans of this in his mind.

Encouraged by her small moans Nomiya presses their bodies closer, her knee pressed against his thigh. It's not a very romantic thing to think about, and it's selfish, but he wishes he was wearing jeans instead of his suit tonight, the loose fabric of his pants becoming incriminating at this point. He hides it, slides down the bed and places his hand on Ayumi's stomach; he rolls her t-shirt up, careful not to uncover her chest yet. Her skin is pale and soft to the touch, his hand against it going up and down, following her breathing.

He starts kissing her body, starting with her ribcage and trailing down slowly, lazily, until he rests his mouth over her bellybutton.

`Oh, no,´ she sighs, covering her face with her hands.

`What?´

`I feel fat.´

`Don't be silly,´ Nomiya laughs and kisses the slight curve of her stomach as she breathes quickly.

Experimentally he brushes the tip of his finger over waistband of her underwear peeking under her jeans. She shudders and Nomiya knows it's because she likes it but then she giggles it off.

`Tickles,´ she mutters.

`Ayumi?´

`I feel so clumsy,´ she says. `I haven't done this before.´

`I know,´ he says, kissing her stomach again.

`I haven't done _anything_, really,´ she adds, her hand a gesture of what she means, between them.

`You make me feel like such a pervert,´ Nomiya tells her and grins.

`It's alright,´ she assures him, though.

But he can feel the tension in her muscles.

`What's wrong?´ he asks.

`Nothing,´ Ayumi states a bit too enthusiastically and then, as if to distract him she kisses him, pushing herself against him and Nomiya thinks there's no way she fails notice his hard-on now. He can literally feel her blushing against his face but she goes on.

She tries to unbuckle his belt on her own but it's stuck so Nomiya does it. Things are going a bit too fast for his liking as well, and he feels he should be appalled at himself for thinking this except he's always been far too confident for that. And this, really, is not about him, it's all about Ayumi.

Ayumi starts to unbutton his pants, face down, not looking at him. He stops her.

`No rush,´ he says.

`I know,´ she replies but she sounds distracted, like she is not thinking what the words really mean.

He grabs her by the elbows, gently, propping her until she is sitting up on the bed.

`We don't have to do this now,´ he tells her, massaging her right shoulders. He can feel the knots there, her body aware of everything, on the edge. `I really don't mind.´

Nomiya has the feeling this is going to be it for tonight, and he really doesn't mind. He is more worried of having upset her. It's no pose and that surprises him; of course he would love to sleep with her as soon as possible but he also intends to spend as much time with this girl as he possibly can (Nomiya tries to fend off trite phrases like "the rest of my life" because he should be cooler than all that) so in the gran scheme of things a little waiting is no disaster.

`Tell me,´ he says to Ayumi.

She relaxes; he can tell the exact moment she decides she is not going to have sex with him tonight. Nomiya lies down again, propping his head with one elbow, waiting her out. He caresses her knees with his index and middle fingers, softly, reassuringly.

She sighs.

`There's this girl I work with,´ Ayumi explains. `A group of us were in the locker rooms the other night and we really get along, all of us. We tell each other things. And this girl was telling us how she started seeing this guy. She really liked him. But he stopped calling her and she knew it was because they had been going out for some time and she hadn't slept with him.´

Nomiya sits up with a start. He looks at her, feeling slightly offended but mostly, protective. He brushes his thumb against Ayumi's cheek.

`You know I wouldn't-´

Ayumi's eyes widen in surprise. She hurries to shake her head reassuringly.

`No, of course I know. I know you wouldn't. _I know_ that.´

Nomiya breathes out. He rubs his hands up and down her arms and she seems to like that, her body reacts, instinctively following his fingers, craving the touch.

`It's not that I don't know that,´ she adds. `Because I do. But listening to this girl was like... It was silly but I thought about you and suddenly I got very scared. I became afraid of losing you. I don't want to lose you.´

Nomiya chuckles.

`You must think I'm so silly,´ Ayumi comments hopelessly.

`No,´ Nomiya grins. `But I was thinking it's lucky that you have no idea how crazy I am about you.´

He leans in for a quick kiss.

Finally Ayumi gives him a weak smile. But then she goes all serious on him and takes his hand in both of hers and lets it rest on her lap, her fingertips drawing impossible shapes on his palm.

`I really want to do this, I do´ she says looking down, not meeting his gaze.

He closes his hand and traps two unsuspecting fingers of hers between his index and thumb.

`And I believe you,´ he tells her, kissing her temple. `But it doesn't have to be right now.´

She nods.

Nomiya puts one feet down on the floor and begins the torture of removing himself from her company.

`You can sleep here,´ she says. `Just sleep, if you want.´

He thinks about it for a moment, it's tempting. But he has the experience of sleeping near Ayumi and he fears it would be too much, right now, he is no saint, he is a man who is in love, and he is no masochist, he is not going to put himself through that special kind of hell again. At least not right now.

He runs his hands through his hair.

`I think I'd rather have the couch,´ he tells her. `For my own sake. You understand.´

Ayumi nods again. He stands up and bends over to kiss her goodnight.

`I'll make you breakfast,´ she blurts out when he is already at the door. `We can get up early and talk. We can cook breakfast together if you want.´

Nomiya smiles from the doorframe – something very movie-like that he always wanted to try.

`I look forward to it,´ he tells her.

And he is.


End file.
